Page 1 of 6 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 87

Thread: S23 Platinum: W4 Review, W5 Preview

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1

    Default S23 Platinum: W4 Review, W5 Preview

    Week 4 Review and Week 5 Preview

    Swiftwater was a pretty standard week, as it turned out. Most teams continued their performance and habits from weeks prior, with the closest match of the week not being the one that was expected. Let’s get into it.

    Week 4 Review

    East Jabib vs. Kids Next Door

    Predicted: 2-1 Jabib
    Result: 2-0 Jabib

    Not gonna lie; pretty disappointed with knd’s performance here. The first half was actually fairly close, with knd having a chance to make a miracle push at the end, but arguably should’ve been theirs without much contest. Jabib had to defend for 8:20 against knd, about 3 minutes of which came during a ridiculously sloppy 3rd push. Knd completely ignored the existence of IT and repeatedly smashed their head against red/flank/big room and while it was successful, I can’t help but think that the IQ loss from that blunt trauma hurt them for the rest of the match. Repeated overcommittals from knd straight into the grinder of Jabib’s flank and watterson’s scope led to full-team wipes that could’ve easily been avoided. A good stab out of Jacob took turkey down, allowing them to finally cap, but without that there’s a world where knd is held at third. Knd’s 4th cap came out rather quickly, but was again sloppy as some questionable positioning from Nursey and the rest of the knd combo turned a 45 second 4th push into a 2 minute one, and the desperation last push with 40 seconds left failed.

    The aforementioned IQ loss from that 3rd push took full effect in the second half, with knd pushing a yikes-worthy 12 minute time, showing more sloppy play. Two failed uber trades into second turned into wipes after Krensik and Billysaurus both committed through the shutter, leaving no exits, and while 3rd wasn’t nearly as much of an issue, knd’s 4th push was honestly just a blooper reel. A bm as shit level 3 from spamfest in the window of house started it, and it was ended 4 minutes later, with Nursey tallying up 6 deaths in that time. She normally goes entire matches without hitting that many deaths, so I don’t know if knd was just unprepared or out of sync or what, but it wasn’t pretty. This isn’t to take anything away from Jabib, who played a very strong game, but I can’t help but feel that this match’s end result was more on knd’s lack of performance than any excess from Jabib. Their flank had a dominating performance, and the quality of kills coming out of their pick classes was top notch. Resident basement dweller shotaway finally emerged from his mother’s cellar for this match, getting many key kills to start off or secure Jabib’s pushes when they needed them. I’m not too sure what this parody of a human being’s game is; he clearly had to charge up his feeble IQ for these past three weeks just to pull a tolerable performance in this game, but whether or not this 9V battery has some charge left in him is up for debate. I’m betting against it.

    MVP: shotaway, HMs: Kresnik, s yath

    Insane Amounts of Money eSports vs. ignorant By Nature!

    Logs: N/A
    Predicted: 2-0 money
    Result: 0-0 money

    iBN, poor fools that they are, feared our rich genius so much they couldn’t gather 9 players and forfeited.

    MVP: money’s combined bank accounts and IQ

    Shooting Blanks! BLACK vs. Disappointments Per Minute

    Predicted: 2-1 DpM
    Result: 2-0 DpM

    Sb! Black/aplbes remains hard to read. I was hoping they’d show up big against DpM, but the team that dropped 3 rounds to iBN made a nasty cameo. The first half was a pretty solid dismantling of aplbes by DpM: A 13 minute hold into a 6 minute cap with only 30 more frags signals that DpM was playing on a higher level than aplbes was, with dev and durr switching classes not causing any bumps. The second half seemed to be a lot closer, with rain performing well and Bowl dropping 580 dpm, but it wasn’t to be. Looking at the logs, aplbes pulled a really solid offense, reaching last with almost 3 minutes left on the stopwatch, but DpM pulled out a strong defense to clinch it 2-0. DpM’s flank was a major force for them, and while Ronnie had a solid statline, the combo was clearly taking a backseat to the flank here. Dev’s sniper debut was solid, outperforming jim with a neat 2.0 k/d.

    MVP: dev, HMs: durr, Bowl

    Dunning-Kruger Effect vs. Second Wind

    Predicted: 2-0 dK
    Result: 2-1 dK

    …Here we are again, eh? dK’s still in a fine spot to claim the 4th seed this season, and while the teams that can contest are growing less and less by the week, it feels like Karl is testing the rest of the dK squad. This was a dumb match with a dumb conclusion that’s entirely unfitting for a team of dK’s caliber. 2w played a strong game, and I don’t want to take anything away from them or Sovereign’s hilarious 240Hz cap, but this shouldn’t have happened. I’m finding it difficult to do even semi-objective analysis because it feels like dK is just disrespecting the league at this point. Fielding a regular season roster with 5+ temporary players just because your big guns don’t give enough of a shit to play during the regular season is entirely within their rights and I don’t think there’s anything the admins could or should do to stop it, but it’s just rude. Karl’s showing up to matches wasted and is honestly playing like garbage while telling his players that they’re all getting cut in playoffs whenever something bad happens. Every other team is taking this season seriously and trying hard to improve and be better (with the possible exception of knd) and the ‘gods of HL’ are so fucking smug that they can treat the regular season and the teams that play them like jokes. Carcin is reportedly leaving, Spades was already cut, and many of the remaining players aren’t having any fun. Getting carried by odb for seasons doesn’t put you above showing basic human decency to the people you play against.

    MVP: bo4r, HMs: Andrew, Sovereign

    .5 Plat vs. Chill Penguins

    Predicted: 2-0 Bv
    Result: 2-0 Bv

    I’ve been making an effort to avoid ragging on .5 Plat too much because I sympathize with their plight and I don’t want to demoralize them or make fun of them for their situation. I think I’ve done a fairly good job of this so far. Unfortunately, I cannot continue that this week. In lieu of analysis regarding this match, I leave you, my dear readers these two twitch clips.

    MVP: eyeballs, HMs: arms, frontal cortexes

    Week 5 Preview

    Only two undefeated teams remain as the cp_steel cometh. I’m looking for this week’s matches to be a little closer than last week, and moreover, close where they should be. Additionally, the small amount of teams in plat is coming into play right now, as there’s one matchup between teams that’s a little unexpected.

    East Jabib vs. Insane Amounts of Money eSports

    syathSCOUT hyphen
    mirrorman SOLDIER Marty
    Eloch? Z? PYRO hunter
    exile DEMO fygg
    Grandislayer HEAVY Trelan
    spamfest ENGI Cas
    turkeylips MEDIC Alto
    watterson SNIPER gert
    shotaway SPY spunean

    The last battle of the titans. Insane Amounts of Money eSports is surprisingly undefeated at this point in the season, although I don’t think we will be for long. Jabib confirmed they’re the hottest shit in the stall last week with a relatively easy win over knd, and they’re clearly the favorites to win this one. I think Jabib arguably has advantages on every class over us. That being said, I don’t want to sell us too short; most of those advantages are fairly small. This game goes 2-0 for jabib if both teams are playing at 100%, but a few players over or under performing could easily tip a half in Money’s favor. Looking forward to this one.

    Prediction: 2-0/1 Jabib

    Disappointments Per Minute vs. Kids Next Door

    Jaaay SCOUT sandblast
    Dev? Durr? SOLDIER Etney
    Arzt PYRO Billysaurus
    Wookiee DEMO Campy
    RonnieJ HEAVY Kresnik
    IcedKeepo ENGI scratchy
    Lion MEDIC Nursey
    Durr? Dev SNIPER scizor
    Mondragon SPY Jacob

    This match is similar to Money/Jabib but probably a little more pronounced. Steel sounds like a map that plays right into DpM’s strategy of ‘tilt top teams into giving up rounds’ so I think it’s very possible they snag a half off knd this week, especially considering how shaky knd looked last week. Knd’s had such a complicated relationship with steel over the years that I can’t really say it’s a good map or a bad map for them, but I’d like to think their experience will score them the win here. Whether or not they put up a goose egg, though, is up for debate.

    Prediction: 2-0/1 knd

    .5 Plat vs. Dunning-Kruger Effect

    rike SCOUT bo4r?
    PKG SOLDIER vipa
    Plissken PYRO oblivion
    altra DEMO mustardoverlord
    Musique HEAVY Karl
    Upgrade ENGI Josh
    Gnu MEDIC ?
    Seanski? SNIPER andrew
    Kami SPY Joe

    God bless. If anyone’s wondering why a 2-2 team is playing an 0-4 team, .5 plat is currently in 10th place, with their 4 losses coming against the 9, 8, 7, and 6th place teams, meaning they have to play the 5th place team, which is currently dK. I’m hoping that dK uses this week as a breath to refocus for the rest of the season and .5 Plat uses their scrims this week to study cultivated dairy cultures and researching to see if anyone on dK is lactose intolerant. Sadly, this matchup is a sign that things are only going to get harder for .5.

    Prediction: 2-0 dK

    ignorant By Nature! vs. Chill Penguins

    Apt SCOUT whymeo
    F][re SOLDIER June
    pnut PYRO Johnny
    Akemi DEMO m66
    ebsikl HEAVY Paals
    Dest? ENGI waxxx
    charis MEDIC Wall
    ? SNIPER Percy
    Abridge? SPY Kris19

    Feel kinda bad that it’s taken Bv 5 weeks to have a match that might be slightly competitive. iBN was riding high last week, jumping from 0-1 to 2-1 overnight, but their forfeit last Monday may prove to underlie some of that seeming steadiness. Bv being, at the least, competent on steel is pretty much a universal truth at this point and iBN’s inconsistent roster all point in favor of a Chill Bvictory. I’m specifically looking at Kris18 and June to do a lot of work on this map, and assuming Bv shows up (iBN too, but in a different sense) I think they have this in the bag.

    Prediction: 2-0 Bv

    Second Wind vs. Shooting Blanks! BLACK

    Nucket SCOUT rain
    Lavableman SOLDIER SolidRock
    Pyrrhus PYRO Lambda
    Daffodil DEMO Bowl
    Kamil HEAVY chris
    Chicobo ENGI tator171
    wolsne MEDIC Jerrr
    Sovereign SNIPER jim (big fucker)
    MoonDoggy SPY wateer

    2w, despite carrying a 1-3 record, should be riding into this match riding pretty high after taking a half off dK last week and having a 3rd half that was semi-competitive (at least at the beginning). I still disagree with the logic behind cutting metawe but the results speak for themselves, and Lavableman is performing on soldier a lot better than may have been expected. Comparing aplbes’s inability to take a half off DpM (although one was close), momentum certainly favors 2w in this match, and I’d say experience does as well, despite waterr being literally old as shit. Moreover, for a team that’s been as relatively steady as 2w is, steel doesn’t seem to me that it’ll present that much of obstacle, especially with Chicobo’s veteran and upbeat presence. It would be remiss to underestimate aplbes, though, as rain and bowl are both players who’ve proved that they can compete with some of the best names HL has to offer, although I feel they may be a few steps ahead of the rest of their team in this case. Should be a close game and my person MOTW.

    Prediction: 2-1 2-w


    Scout: syath (Jabib)
    Soldier: Durr (DpM)
    Pyro: oblivion (dK)
    Demo: Bowl (sb!)
    Heavy: Kresnik (knd)
    Engi: Spamfest (Jabib)
    Medic: Alto (money, 0 deaths combined)
    Sniper: Dev (DpM)
    Spy: shotaway (Jabib)

    NUT or CUT


    East Jabib: Jabib comes into this week 4-0, looking likely to have an undefeated season, and a perfect season should they 2-0 money this week. The roster seems relatively stable with some quakes in the pyro and medic spot, but those don’t seem to have negatively impacted the team in any meaningful way. Time will to tell if they’ll be able to transition the 1st seed into 1st place with dK and knd likely having stronger playoff rosters, but Jabib have to be confident at the least regarding their placement this season. So confident, in fact, zuchima just pulled the trigger on the ‘cancel weeklies with 5 time plat winners’ power play.


    dK: Do I really need to keep saying it? It’s disgraceful how dK’s been playing and behaving this season. If you didn’t read the ‘match review’ of dK vs. 2w, most of my feelings are summed up there.


    Bowl: Oft-memed container of creamy condiment’s really been doing his best to shut people up this season. Pretty much all of his statlines have been ridiculous this season, generally finding some way to pull out 500+ dpm at least once per match and is performing far above the rest of his team. I haven’t personally played them so I’m not 100% on their playstyle and whether or not Bowl’s making the team’s openings or is fed resources to perform more of a cleanup job. Regardless, though, it’s been impressive to see his statlines and if he can carry his team to a win this week you can be sure to see him here again in two weeks.


    Spades & Metawe: Literally xD. There may have been some roster moves amongst the lower plat teams that flew under the radar but these two were some of the bigger moves that drew quite a spectacle, each in their own way. I’m not super enthusiastic about either of these moves (especially while resident source JAMMING wookiee still lives and breathes) but it is with a tear in eye and a meme in my heart I bid these gamers farewell.

    Actually, considering metawe just rostered on DpM I may be getting my way. Feels good to be a rich genius.


    UGC Staff: Oft-memed more than BowlofMayo, the UGC staff and AC team scored a W last week with bans on bullet and wenk and overturning iBN’s week 1 match. There was considerable evidence against them so I don’t think this is some investigative masterpiece, but good to see that UGC’s acted fairly quickly and effectively to deal with this issue.


    Team typographical issues: It’s been bugging the everloving shit out of me that DpM’s tag is just that, but their team name is Disappointments Per Minute. Ronnie J may know how memes work, but acronyms seem to be beyond him. Additionally, I’ve been referring to sb! BLACK as aplbes still due to the ! autocapitalizing anything that comes after it and it’s easier to use the older aplbes than fight MS Word about it every time. For shame boys!


    …What’s going on? Where am I? I can’t see anything. Everything’s gray, as far as the eye can see….
    11:38 PM - Spades: actually can you edit the spades watch and put that im lft silver sub


    UGC Forums: Thanks in part to these articles and vipa/daffodil’s ability to be confident enough in their opinion to let it be publicly heard, we’ve finally had to shit to read. It’s been a long time coming and even if it’s nothing like past seasons, I’m glad to read discussion and conversation on this league. Props to both of them for having a civilized argument and inviting discussion, even if it was at metawe’s expense.


    My articles: Goddamn I’m fucking awesome. I’m singlehandedly reviving these forums due to my sheer force of willing to spend 2-3 hours a week making these charisma and universal likeability. I am objectively the greatest journalistic talent to rise out of this league and my ability to use punctuation (specifically the rare and powerful semicolon) is rivalled only by Digresser, The Old One.


    The looming sense of dread that week 7 upward creates: just get it over with already please


    Prime Time Sleepers: Who would’ve thought that a team with Lemons, Rev, Pablo, dflame, JJ and Chinatown would be 4-0 in silver? Haha jesus lord if they don’t go 12-0 there’s gonna be hell to pay.


    10 teams in plat: While it essentially makes it a near-round robin, dK vs. .5 heralds the end of regular swiss-esque scheduling as everyone’s going to be playing teams on the opposite side of the standings out of necessity. After this week, jabib/dK and money/knd are likely happening on product and there won’t be any more headline matches until week 2 of playoffs (unless it’s 4 team).


    Zagron’s taste in anime: haha eat shit these articles are just a powerplay to shittalk my friends
    Last edited by Dr. Alto H. Clef; October 5th, 2017 at 11:48 PM.

  2. #2


    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Alto H. Clef View Post
    Getting carried by odb for seasons doesn’t put you above showing basic human decency to the people you play against.
    demonstrably false

    Edit: nevermind fuck odb. he amde fun of hl pug champ

  3. #3


    i dont like maining

  4. #4



  5. #5

  6. #6


    Nice goof on the Twitch link. :[

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by LFT SpotlightR View Post
    Nice goof on the Twitch link. :[
    lmao rip
    nice catch

  8. #8
    Member Vipa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    New York


    how would u have us "respect the ppl we play against" lol
    everyone cried when we were rolling everyone and now everyone cries when we don't. pick one nibbas

    also im fairly certain joe is missing this match so expect to see the your eternal shpeenis....

  9. #9


    I was a better writer than you.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Spu~ View Post
    I know you're proud about knowing the alphabet, but adults use words to talk about videogames.

  11. #11
    Member Rightjustify's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Minneapolis, MN


    dK has denied me the main medic spot for the 4th time in as many weeks and their demise has never been so imminent

  12. #12
    Member Karl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Washington State


    Quote Originally Posted by Rightjustify View Post
    dK has denied me the main medic spot for the 4th time in as many weeks and their demise has never been so imminent
    alright I will have you know that this is the exact opposite of what transpired.

  13. #13


    I dont know why you would blame the 8/9 of the dk roster that has no control over karls blood alcohol

  14. #14


    Quote Originally Posted by mustardoverlord View Post
    I dont know why you would blame the 8/9 of the dk roster that has no control over karls blood alcohol
    he's the face of the team, his actions are reflected in his players and by just passively watching you're at least some part complicit in what he's doing?

  15. #15


    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Alto H. Clef View Post
    he's the face of the team, his actions are reflected in his players and by just passively watching you're at least some part complicit in what he's doing?
    I don't usually post seriously on the ugc forums but I will make an exception now

    what do you want from me homie? I show up, I try in matches, I get happy if we win and sad if we lose. if people are literally throwing on purpose then you could call it disrespectful to the other team (I mean if youre uptight as shit you can), but if the 9 dk players in the server are trying to win the game then why does anyone care? even our 2 losses were close considering our tire fire of a roster because we were actually trying our little hearts out

    speaking as one of the players who could very well be gone for playoffs, I dont see how you could blame a team for doing what the current situation in hl completely incentivizes them to do. the only ways to keep something like this from happening are either a) liquid and cloud 9 come to ugc highlander and pay salaries to compete actively all season long or b) other teams get good enough that they can take advantage of players like odb and corsa having not scrimmed all season long with the team to actually win in playoffs, at which point karl would probably not play a regular season with a filler team

    and another thing, putting aside his actual terrible drunken gameplay, it's not like karl can do anything about the like 10 players who literally told him they would only be able to play in playoffs. are you saying that, when skeez or whoever told him that, karl should've told him to fuck off? he did what was best for his odds of winning in playoffs, and everyone who agreed to join the team during reg season knew the risks (for instance, I might think that I can provide a very reasonable facsimile of odb if I have an actual squad around me and not the b-team but I knew that I prolly wouldnt have a chance to prove that, because why take that chance)

    tl;dr dont hate the player hate the game


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts